“I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim
or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is,’”
Kurt Vonnegut wrote in “A Man Without a Country.”
It’s good advice for ladies in serious relationships,
according to a new study from Harvard researchers that suggests that men
appreciate it when the women in their lives let them know they are happy. plus size lingerie malta
On the other hand, the study suggests, women find happiness
when their men open up about being frustrated or upset.
Researchers recruited 156 couples in committed relationships
and asked each person to recall a time in their relationship that upset them.
The researchers then compared how each of the partners reacted to that moment. latex lingerie malta
The intention was to examine how accurately one partner
perceived and responded to the other’s feelings.
“Relationship satisfaction is linked in different ways to
men’s and women’s abilities to read each other’s emotions, and it seems to
relate more to positive emotions for men and to negative emotions for women,”
said Shiri Cohen, clinical psychologist at Massachusetts General Hospital and
lead author of the study. “Men’s satisfaction was tied to his ability to
identify when his wife [or] girlfriend is happy, but not when she is angry or
upset. In contrast, women’s satisfaction was tied to her ability to read when
her partner is upset, hurt, or angry, but not when he is happy.”
When men felt willing to express their anger or frustration,
women took that as a sign that their partners were investing in the
relationship, the study found. For most women studied, this translated into a
sense of security or happiness for the women.
Men, by contrast, commonly expressed more fulfillment after
their female partners expressed to them that they were fulfilled and satisfied
in their relationships.
While the study, published in the Journal of Family
Psychology, ultimately found that happiness stems from a willingness to try and
understand whatever emotion one’s partner is feeling, men tend to disengage
when negatively aroused, while women tend to engage and want to discuss the
problem.
“Our finding that women’s satisfaction was more strongly
related to the perception that their partners were trying to understand their
negative emotions than to men’s actual accuracy in reading those emotions is consistent.
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